diff --git a/e2e/binary/BUILD.bazel b/e2e/binary/BUILD.bazel
index 24cf276de710eca3e2a6118cd09458045dd8224e..b0929f3617b7595685610e0b7e0c0fa97376f3fe 100644
--- a/e2e/binary/BUILD.bazel
+++ b/e2e/binary/BUILD.bazel
@@ -18,6 +18,7 @@ py_library(
         "port.py",
         "relative.py",
         "runfile.py",
+        "server.py",
         "sniff.py",
         "tool.py",
     ],
diff --git a/e2e/binary/__init__.py b/e2e/binary/__init__.py
index 0c485f0bbcf04fa4b1ba05ba6758963b257249fc..f9a883e71be7d2e4f4424ea99c41996bf27f8b84 100644
--- a/e2e/binary/__init__.py
+++ b/e2e/binary/__init__.py
@@ -5,5 +5,6 @@ from binary.relative import Relative
 from binary.runfile import Env
 from binary.sniff import sniff
 from binary.tool import Tool
+from binary.server import HTTPInterface
 
-__all__ = ("sniff", "Diff", "Tool", "Relative", "Env")
+__all__ = ("sniff", "Diff", "Tool", "Relative", "Env", "HTTPInterface")
diff --git a/e2e/binary/conftest.py b/e2e/binary/conftest.py
index b645b614147b259c1dfc99e08810588070383880..01548349e998fadecd2e36e1f5b3dba9290e94ab 100644
--- a/e2e/binary/conftest.py
+++ b/e2e/binary/conftest.py
@@ -16,6 +16,7 @@ from .runfile import (
     create,
 )
 from .tool import Tool
+from .server import HTTPServer, HTTPInterface
 
 __all__ = ("Relative", "Tool", "Runfile", "Env")
 
@@ -50,6 +51,13 @@ def relative(runfile: Runfile) -> Relative:
     return Relative(runfile)
 
 
+@fixture
+def http_server() -> HTTPInterface:
+    server = HTTPServer()
+    yield server
+    server.shutdown()
+
+
 def pytest_assertrepr_compare(op, left, right) -> list[str] | None:
     if value := diff(op, left, right):
         return value
diff --git a/e2e/binary/server.py b/e2e/binary/server.py
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000000000000000000000000000000000..b0962be5e5d288c5ac3807beaf95284e7bb02a6d
--- /dev/null
+++ b/e2e/binary/server.py
@@ -0,0 +1,53 @@
+import threading
+
+from typing import Protocol
+from urllib.parse import urlunparse
+from http.server import HTTPServer as HttpServer, SimpleHTTPRequestHandler
+
+
+class HTTPInterface(Protocol):
+    @property
+    def hostname(self) -> str: ...
+
+    @property
+    def port(self) -> int: ...
+
+    @property
+    def netloc(self) -> str: ...
+
+    @property
+    def scheme(self) -> str: ...
+
+    @property
+    def base_url(self) -> str: ...
+
+
+class HTTPServer:
+    def __init__(self):
+        self.__server = HttpServer(("", 0), SimpleHTTPRequestHandler)
+        self.__thread = threading.Thread(target=self.__server.serve_forever)
+        self.__thread.start()
+
+    def shutdown(self):
+        self.__server.shutdown()
+        self.__thread.join()
+
+    @property
+    def hostname(self) -> str:
+        return self.__server.server_address[0]
+
+    @property
+    def port(self) -> int:
+        return self.__server.server_address[1]
+
+    @property
+    def netloc(self) -> str:
+        return f"{self.hostname}:{self.port}"
+
+    @property
+    def scheme(self) -> str:
+        return "http"
+
+    @property
+    def base_url(self) -> str:
+        return urlunparse((self.scheme, self.netloc, "", "", "", ""))
diff --git a/e2e/binary/wget/BUILD.bazel b/e2e/binary/wget/BUILD.bazel
index 2664737eaf022aad95f4f5accbd831b962984ba3..9505b982d74c5c30d78068644b65f58dc44c23c6 100644
--- a/e2e/binary/wget/BUILD.bazel
+++ b/e2e/binary/wget/BUILD.bazel
@@ -1,11 +1,30 @@
-load("@bazel_skylib//rules:build_test.bzl", "build_test")
+load("@bazel_skylib//rules:native_binary.bzl", "native_test")
+load("@rules_python_pytest//python_pytest:defs.bzl", "py_pytest_test")
 
-# TODO: write an _actual_ test for `wget`
+py_pytest_test(
+    name = "pytest",
+    size = "small",
+    srcs = ["wget.py"],
+    data = [
+        "@ape//ape:wget",
+    ],
+    deps = [
+        "//binary:pytest",
+    ],
+)
 
-build_test(
-    name = "wget",
+native_test(
+    name = "version",
     size = "small",
-    tags = ["stub"],
-    targets = ["@ape//ape:wget"],
+    src = "@ape//ape:wget",
+    args = ["--version"],
+)
+
+test_suite(
+    name = "wget",
+    tests = [
+        "pytest",
+        "version",
+    ],
     visibility = ["//:__subpackages__"],
 )
diff --git a/e2e/binary/wget/wget.py b/e2e/binary/wget/wget.py
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000000000000000000000000000000000..1944beef711406169d3dd0a79c728569583e4422
--- /dev/null
+++ b/e2e/binary/wget/wget.py
@@ -0,0 +1,14 @@
+from __future__ import annotations
+
+from subprocess import run
+
+from binary import Tool, HTTPInterface
+
+
+def test_wget(tool: Tool, http_server: HTTPInterface) -> None:
+    binary = tool("wget")
+
+    process = run(
+        [binary, "-q", "--spider", http_server.base_url], check=True, timeout=30
+    )
+    assert 0 == process.returncode