diff --git a/e2e/binary/chmod/BUILD.bazel b/e2e/binary/chmod/BUILD.bazel
index ad95dedc98bba9cc64ed574e9c7fcb3d5ce9ac4d..1307113f5bec2ac12703cbe182e16a2589117044 100644
--- a/e2e/binary/chmod/BUILD.bazel
+++ b/e2e/binary/chmod/BUILD.bazel
@@ -1,11 +1,31 @@
-load("@bazel_skylib//rules:build_test.bzl", "build_test")
+load("@bazel_skylib//rules:native_binary.bzl", "native_test")
+load("@rules_python_pytest//python_pytest:defs.bzl", "py_pytest_test")
 
-# TODO: write an _actual_ test for `chmod`
+py_pytest_test(
+    name = "pytest",
+    size = "small",
+    srcs = ["mode.py"],
+    data = [
+        "@ape//ape:chmod",
+    ],
+    deps = [
+        "//binary:pytest",
+    ],
+)
 
-build_test(
-    name = "chmod",
+native_test(
+    name = "version",
     size = "small",
-    tags = ["stub"],
-    targets = ["@ape//ape:chmod"],
+    src = "@ape//ape:chmod",
+    args = ["--version"],
+    visibility = ["//:__subpackages__"],
+)
+
+test_suite(
+    name = "chmod",
+    tests = [
+        "pytest",
+        "version",
+    ],
     visibility = ["//:__subpackages__"],
 )
diff --git a/e2e/binary/chmod/mode.py b/e2e/binary/chmod/mode.py
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000000000000000000000000000000000..b5d41248dddfdf049859e2bd0c9a11c1cc6da24c
--- /dev/null
+++ b/e2e/binary/chmod/mode.py
@@ -0,0 +1,26 @@
+from __future__ import annotations
+
+
+from pathlib import Path
+from subprocess import PIPE, run
+
+from binary import Tool
+
+
+def test_mode(tool: Tool, tmp_path: Path) -> None:
+    binary = tool("chmod")
+    filepath = tmp_path / "secret.txt"
+
+    filepath.touch()
+
+    assert 0o100644 == filepath.stat().st_mode
+
+    cmd = (binary, "og-rw,-x,u-w", filepath)
+    run(cmd, check=True, timeout=30, stdout=PIPE)
+
+    assert 0o100400 == filepath.stat().st_mode
+
+    cmd = (binary, "777", filepath)
+    run(cmd, check=True, timeout=30, stdout=PIPE)
+
+    assert 0o100777 == filepath.stat().st_mode
diff --git a/e2e/binary/chown/BUILD.bazel b/e2e/binary/chown/BUILD.bazel
index 0c9034caa8fa5cfc364204c4d5455f0fc2bd01bb..2327ba65feaeddc695ab2f902fa268a895edcfd6 100644
--- a/e2e/binary/chown/BUILD.bazel
+++ b/e2e/binary/chown/BUILD.bazel
@@ -1,11 +1,33 @@
-load("@bazel_skylib//rules:build_test.bzl", "build_test")
+load("@bazel_skylib//rules:native_binary.bzl", "native_test")
+load("@rules_python_pytest//python_pytest:defs.bzl", "py_pytest_test")
 
-# TODO: write an _actual_ test for `chown`
+py_pytest_test(
+    name = "pytest",
+    size = "small",
+    srcs = ["own.py"],
+    data = [
+        "fixture.txt",
+        "@ape//ape:chown",
+    ],
+    tags = ["requires-fakeroot"],
+    deps = [
+        "//binary:pytest",
+    ],
+)
 
-build_test(
-    name = "chown",
+native_test(
+    name = "version",
     size = "small",
-    tags = ["stub"],
-    targets = ["@ape//ape:chown"],
+    src = "@ape//ape:chown",
+    args = ["--version"],
+    visibility = ["//:__subpackages__"],
+)
+
+test_suite(
+    name = "chown",
+    tests = [
+        "pytest",
+        "version",
+    ],
     visibility = ["//:__subpackages__"],
 )
diff --git a/e2e/binary/chown/fixture.txt b/e2e/binary/chown/fixture.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000000000000000000000000000000000..ce013625030ba8dba906f756967f9e9ca394464a
--- /dev/null
+++ b/e2e/binary/chown/fixture.txt
@@ -0,0 +1 @@
+hello
diff --git a/e2e/binary/chown/own.py b/e2e/binary/chown/own.py
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000000000000000000000000000000000..1c247d4ff15e6f851bb615514b2f70b68f1724fa
--- /dev/null
+++ b/e2e/binary/chown/own.py
@@ -0,0 +1,24 @@
+from __future__ import annotations
+
+
+from pathlib import Path
+from subprocess import run
+
+from binary import Relative, Tool
+
+
+def test_owner(tool: Tool, relative: Relative, tmp_path: Path) -> None:
+    binary = tool("chown")
+    filepath = tmp_path / "random.txt"
+    fixture = relative("fixture.txt")
+
+    filepath.touch()
+
+    uid = fixture.stat().st_uid
+    gid = fixture.stat().st_gid
+
+    cmd = (binary, f"{uid}:{gid}", filepath)
+    run(cmd, check=True, timeout=30)
+
+    assert uid == filepath.stat().st_uid
+    assert gid == filepath.stat().st_gid
diff --git a/e2e/binary/python/BUILD.bazel b/e2e/binary/python/BUILD.bazel
index bd0c823c44fe3ccb7439c1669e28894ff8ea7930..9fbab89af1be84c7c5cf58a88e99c4449392a4a2 100644
--- a/e2e/binary/python/BUILD.bazel
+++ b/e2e/binary/python/BUILD.bazel
@@ -1,11 +1,32 @@
-load("@bazel_skylib//rules:build_test.bzl", "build_test")
+load("@bazel_skylib//rules:native_binary.bzl", "native_test")
+load("@rules_python_pytest//python_pytest:defs.bzl", "py_pytest_test")
 
-# TODO: write an _actual_ test for `python`
+py_pytest_test(
+    name = "pytest",
+    size = "small",
+    srcs = ["python.py"],
+    data = [
+        "hello.py",
+        "@ape//ape:python",
+    ],
+    deps = [
+        "//binary:pytest",
+    ],
+)
 
-build_test(
-    name = "python",
+native_test(
+    name = "version",
     size = "small",
-    tags = ["stub"],
-    targets = ["@ape//ape:python"],
+    src = "@ape//ape:python",
+    args = ["--version"],
+    visibility = ["//:__subpackages__"],
+)
+
+test_suite(
+    name = "python",
+    tests = [
+        "pytest",
+        "version",
+    ],
     visibility = ["//:__subpackages__"],
 )
diff --git a/e2e/binary/python/hello.py b/e2e/binary/python/hello.py
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000000000000000000000000000000000..1d1fe875174881dba2ea9adcf37c5e373cb1c939
--- /dev/null
+++ b/e2e/binary/python/hello.py
@@ -0,0 +1,11 @@
+import sys
+
+
+def main() -> int:
+    print("Hello!", end="")
+
+    return 0
+
+
+if __name__ == "__main__":
+    sys.exit(main())
diff --git a/e2e/binary/python/python.py b/e2e/binary/python/python.py
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000000000000000000000000000000000..9086ecf74f4e4322dadce5cb5df03f6895cf28b4
--- /dev/null
+++ b/e2e/binary/python/python.py
@@ -0,0 +1,30 @@
+from __future__ import annotations
+
+from subprocess import PIPE, run
+
+from binary import Relative, Tool
+
+
+def test_script(tool: Tool, relative: Relative) -> None:
+    binary = tool("python")
+    hello = relative("hello.py")
+
+    cmd = (binary, hello)
+    r = run(cmd, check=True, timeout=30, stdout=PIPE, text=True)
+
+    assert 0 == r.returncode
+    assert "Hello!" == r.stdout
+
+
+def test_command(tool: Tool) -> None:
+    binary = tool("python")
+
+    cmd = (
+        binary,
+        "-c",
+        "print('Hello!', end='')",
+    )
+    r = run(cmd, check=True, timeout=30, stdout=PIPE, text=True)
+
+    assert 0 == r.returncode
+    assert "Hello!" == r.stdout
diff --git a/e2e/binary/tidy/BUILD.bazel b/e2e/binary/tidy/BUILD.bazel
index 53c8ad35d07a4863aad274684e4b409a578941ba..34cd32d4b2b65552f5630aa6da4cc3529d3227ed 100644
--- a/e2e/binary/tidy/BUILD.bazel
+++ b/e2e/binary/tidy/BUILD.bazel
@@ -1,11 +1,34 @@
-load("@bazel_skylib//rules:build_test.bzl", "build_test")
+load("@bazel_skylib//rules:native_binary.bzl", "native_test")
+load("@rules_python_pytest//python_pytest:defs.bzl", "py_pytest_test")
 
-# TODO: write an _actual_ test for `tidy`
+py_pytest_test(
+    name = "pytest",
+    size = "small",
+    srcs = ["pretty.py"],
+    data = [
+        "config.txt",
+        "expected.txt",
+        "fixture.txt",
+        "@ape//ape:tidy",
+    ],
+    deps = [
+        "//binary:pytest",
+    ],
+)
 
-build_test(
-    name = "tidy",
+native_test(
+    name = "version",
     size = "small",
-    tags = ["stub"],
-    targets = ["@ape//ape:tidy"],
+    src = "@ape//ape:tidy",
+    args = ["--version"],
+    visibility = ["//:__subpackages__"],
+)
+
+test_suite(
+    name = "tidy",
+    tests = [
+        "pytest",
+        "version",
+    ],
     visibility = ["//:__subpackages__"],
 )
diff --git a/e2e/binary/tidy/config.txt b/e2e/binary/tidy/config.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000000000000000000000000000000000..9a5e5c65cf49e04a4cb1d4eaf47b569b7ac0e2ba
--- /dev/null
+++ b/e2e/binary/tidy/config.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,6 @@
+indent: auto
+indent-spaces: 2
+quiet: no
+tidy-mark: no
+output-html: yes
+drop-empty-elements: no
diff --git a/e2e/binary/tidy/expected.txt b/e2e/binary/tidy/expected.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000000000000000000000000000000000..28b3bd8132bc240c0b77c8598048812025466b58
--- /dev/null
+++ b/e2e/binary/tidy/expected.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,7 @@
+<!DOCTYPE html>
+<html lang="en">
+<meta charset="utf-8">
+<title>HTML Tidy</title>
+
+<p><input type="text" name="foo">
+
diff --git a/e2e/binary/tidy/fixture.txt b/e2e/binary/tidy/fixture.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000000000000000000000000000000000..faad8aad7bcad6d501f59ee04122ba95bb2277ec
--- /dev/null
+++ b/e2e/binary/tidy/fixture.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,4 @@
+<!DOCTYPE html><html lang="en">
+<head><meta charset="utf-8"><title>HTML Tidy</title>
+</head><body><input TYPE="text" name="foo"></body>
+</html>
diff --git a/e2e/binary/tidy/pretty.py b/e2e/binary/tidy/pretty.py
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000000000000000000000000000000000..48211cb8a00c9ee665e1e72bcd75f675782720ed
--- /dev/null
+++ b/e2e/binary/tidy/pretty.py
@@ -0,0 +1,26 @@
+from __future__ import annotations
+
+from pathlib import Path
+from subprocess import run
+
+from binary import Diff, Relative, Tool
+
+
+def test_tidy(tool: Tool, relative: Relative, tmp_path: Path) -> None:
+    binary = tool("tidy")
+    fixture = relative("fixture.txt")
+    expected = relative("expected.txt")
+    config = relative("config.txt")
+    output = tmp_path / "output.txt"
+
+    args = (
+        "-config",
+        config,
+        fixture,
+    )
+
+    cmd = (binary, *args)
+    with open(output, "w") as stream:
+        run(cmd, check=True, timeout=30, stdout=stream)
+
+    assert Diff(expected) == Diff(output)
diff --git a/e2e/binary/touch/BUILD.bazel b/e2e/binary/touch/BUILD.bazel
index 2903f461b6b57b068602396d0fccbafc11ff29c6..206225c3564a89c10342b65cd8a33e965cdd10dc 100644
--- a/e2e/binary/touch/BUILD.bazel
+++ b/e2e/binary/touch/BUILD.bazel
@@ -1,11 +1,31 @@
-load("@bazel_skylib//rules:build_test.bzl", "build_test")
+load("@bazel_skylib//rules:native_binary.bzl", "native_test")
+load("@rules_python_pytest//python_pytest:defs.bzl", "py_pytest_test")
 
-# TODO: write an _actual_ test for `touch`
+py_pytest_test(
+    name = "pytest",
+    size = "small",
+    srcs = ["touch.py"],
+    data = [
+        "@ape//ape:touch",
+    ],
+    deps = [
+        "//binary:pytest",
+    ],
+)
 
-build_test(
-    name = "touch",
+native_test(
+    name = "version",
     size = "small",
-    tags = ["stub"],
-    targets = ["@ape//ape:touch"],
+    src = "@ape//ape:touch",
+    args = ["--version"],
+    visibility = ["//:__subpackages__"],
+)
+
+test_suite(
+    name = "touch",
+    tests = [
+        "pytest",
+        "version",
+    ],
     visibility = ["//:__subpackages__"],
 )
diff --git a/e2e/binary/touch/touch.py b/e2e/binary/touch/touch.py
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000000000000000000000000000000000..3c07eed67a901fe65744d9f68265db242cce0ed4
--- /dev/null
+++ b/e2e/binary/touch/touch.py
@@ -0,0 +1,33 @@
+from __future__ import annotations
+
+from pathlib import Path
+from subprocess import PIPE, run
+
+from binary import Tool
+
+
+def test_touch(tool: Tool, tmp_path: Path) -> None:
+    binary = tool("touch")
+    filepath = tmp_path / "touch.txt"
+
+    cmd = (binary, "--date", "Sun, 29 Feb 2004 16:21:42 -0800", filepath)
+    run(cmd, check=True, timeout=30, stdout=PIPE)
+
+    assert filepath.is_file()
+
+    s = filepath.stat()
+
+    assert s.st_atime == 1078100502
+    assert s.st_mtime == 1078100502
+    assert s.st_size == 0
+
+    ctime = s.st_ctime
+
+    cmd = (binary, filepath)
+    run(cmd, check=True, timeout=30, stdout=PIPE)
+
+    s = filepath.stat()
+
+    assert s.st_ctime >= ctime
+    assert s.st_atime > 1078100502
+    assert s.st_mtime > 1078100502